Breaking Up (Online or Not) :: essays research papers

How to Break-Up (Online or Otherwise)In the last year, I put one across watched the fallout from a number of relationships and break-ups obtain over the bulletin boards. These problems have caused hurt feelings, have ended friendships, and have come to involve dozens of people (through bulletin boards, email, and other electronica) who have no personal stake in the outcome. The emotional bareness these poorly handled situations bring is totally unnecessary, and prompted the following. The following is not scientific fact it is based on my own observations, the experiences of my friends (male and female straight, gay, and bi) and family, and a lot of tired, commercial favorite psychology. That doesnt, however, stringent that its bad advice.sanctimony1. Do it in person. If this is an online relationship, it may not be possible. That doesnt give you an excuse to send a Dear John/Jane e-mail. Get as close to in-person as you can, given the limitations of space and time. Call on the phone if you must, go over if you can. But NEVER break up with an answer machine, an e-mail account, or a public forum. You and your ex both deserve better if this relationship ever meant anything to you, it needs closure. If it didnt, you have no right to take that out on them by treating them callously its not your exs fault that you dont love them anymore. You are not "off the hook," you still have to treat them like a real person, with actual feelings. 2. Be honest, and do it before youre so upset that you cant be reasonable. If youre having problems, that doesnt necessarily mean that your partner knows about them or understands what they can do to help. Take the time to let them know whats bothering you. If your partner really cares about you, chances are some compromise can be reached, or they will at least try to address the behaviors that make you crazy. If its unsalvagable, at least show them enough respect to end things finally, and with dignity. Dont say you wan t to be "friends" if what you really mean is "drop dead, you jerk." Theres a big difference between letting someone down easy and leaving them hanging, emotionally manipulating them to serve your own ego needs. Be clear, concise, and as reasonable and respectful as possible. This isnt easy for anyone, and your ex deserves, at minimum, as much truth as you can give without being untamed and/or hurtful.